March 21, 2021

I’m not a big fan of the Facebook “I got my shot” posts. Every time you see one you’re like, that’s awesome, cool for them, but if you’re honest, there’s that slight nagging FOMO feeling, wondering when you’re going to be able to get yours or when people you know who should really get it ASAP and haven’t yet are going to get theirs. As we ramp up into this, I imagine similar circumstances have happened in the past, maybe around the polio vaccine?

That said, I want to share my experience so far for anyone who’s interested.

This pandemic sucks. I can’t wait for it to be over but thankfully we’re moving towards that happening sooner than later IMHO. For any anti-vaxxer conspiracists, you might read this to be able to ascertain some kind of secret knowledge by knowing what us sheeple are up to as the Great Reset tricks us into rewiring our DNA so Bill Gates can flip a switch with the 5G and do whatever it is the diabolical cabal is up to. For everyone else, science is good stuff and being able to create technology to survive as a species in the face of real biological threats has worked in the past and it’ll work again.

Also, had Trump stolen the election, I have no idea what would be going on, but I suspect it would resemble some kind of dystopian medieval Hunger Games scenario where Red States and donors to the Don were flush with vax while Blue states and those “nasty” and unloyal to America’s new King were pretty much living and dying on their own with roaming bands of Trump’s militia forces attempting to start their civil war and being beaten back badly which would have escalated with Trump’s constant encouragement. Thankfully we avoided that possible scenario.

Elections matter. Can we remember that going forward, for all the elections? Seriously.

I have no doubt, with my age and history that I’m a prime candidate for the COVID-19 host, someone who spends time in the hospital if they get infected. So when myturn.ca.gov opened for 65 and older and medical workers I spent a lot of time figuring out the system for when it was my turn. Last Sunday I was eligible and clicked in and got the You’re Eligible page which was cool. However getting past that page into the Albertsons / Safeway pharmacies near my zip returned nothing. UCSF Benioff never showed appointments. I’d login every couple hours until it was obvious nothing was going to pan out just yet.

From there I went to the Rite Aid, Walgreens and CVS sites to see if I could sign up for an appointment. All booked. I drove up to our CVS the day they started providing vaccines and asked the manager who I know pretty well if there were going to be any leftovers. She smiled and said, “Look around. You see how many people we have working today? We don’t usually have this many people work.” and she winked at me. Yea, if there were any leftover, they were going to get it because they’ve been the essential workers for the last year, putting themselves at risk with every customer. Good for them.

I also got some leads on popup clinics near our place in East Oakland and drove by one, but again, I work from home and it felt inequitable to me personally to maybe take a shot from someone who needed it more than me. I drove up to the Coliseum one afternoon after I’d scored some early tomato plants in San Leandro to see if there might be a way to park and maybe get in without an appointment and get a shot. That’s a FEMA operation. You aren’t going to just get in. It was pretty amazing to watch the full force of our government finally doing something though; the big tents, the signs, the cones, the line of cars and FEMA vests and CHP everywhere. It felt very serious and in control with so many people in cars there to protect themselves and their families and friends, to believe in the science and just get the vaccination so we can get to the other side of this.

I was back to my online vaccine hunting. The following web sites contain info on signing up for alerts or ways to track when appointments are available and I used them all — signed up for all the alerts.

Alameda County https://covid-19.acgov.org/vaccines

Berkely Gov https://content.govdelivery.com/.../CAB.../bulletins/2c84c93

Oaklandside text alerts https://oaklandside.org/.../text-alerts-covid-19-vaccine.../

Broke Ass Stuart https://brokeassstuart.com/.../covid-resources-for-sf.../...

Alameda County Fairgrounds Appointments with providers https://alamedacountyfair.com/covid-19-vaccine-information/

GG Fields sign up for notifications https://www.cityofberkeley.info/covid19-vaccine/

Before my age opened up I’d signed up for myturnvolunteer.ca.gov where you can work four hours and most likely get a vax.

The one resource that I credit for helping me get an appointment is on Twitter #BayAreaAppts

This one posts when there are available Bay Area appointments. They don’t seem to follow a schedule, so you just check when you’re ready to do your vax hunt at that moment.

For Monday through Wednesday I would take a break once an hour or so and try the myturn.ca.gov site, go through all the pharmacy links, but get nothing. Then Thursday I saw 117 open appointments posted by #BayAreaAppts and I checked my zip and found nothing again, so I thought maybe look OUTSIDE my zip. You can put that distance you’re willing to travel when you try it so I found a zip in Sacramento figuring there would probably be more vaccine there because trumpers, and sure enough it looked like there were available appointments, however there was also a disclaimer that you had to be a resident of Sac county. I also learned that Sacramento comes from the Catholic Church “sacrament” like communion, I know all about the Saints names for cities, but hand’t heard that one.

Since I lived in San Francisco for like 25 years I tried our old zip from the Sunset, got their list of pharmacies and saw Moscone. I also didn’t see any county resident disclaimers, so I clicked on Moscone and saw a myturn.ca.gov page I hadn’t seen before, the Make an Appointment one.

If you care about getting a vaccine and have been spending a lot of time trying to sign up, that’s a pretty cool page to get to. It makes you pause and question if you’re really there. So I signed up, each step of the way expecting to get a message that I didn’t qualify for some reason. I considered putting my old address in there but went ahead with our Oakland address because I don’t want to cheat. Ms Bird and I both agree that cheating to get the vax is bad karma.

Then I submitted the page and got an appointment, with a number and QR code and all the stuff. I was in disbelief at first and I texted a friend who needs the vax who tried within 5 minutes of me trying and he didn’t get through. It seemed very random and entirely fortuitous finding an appointment. I remember feeling my shoulders relax little by little as my brain processed what happened in the background. I yawned a little. Jenny says I’m not really in touch with the things that stress me out and she’s right because obviously that was bugging me and now all the cycles processing this one particular thing were being freed up and I was feeling it physically. If you want a shot, you’ll get one. Don’t let it stress you out too much even though it may be. We’re talking about weeks, not years. This is happening.

As the weekend approached there were stories that people were being turned away even with appointments in Santa Clara because of vaccine shortages. I steadied myself to be disappointed but was cautiously optimistic. Yesterday when I was at the Berkeley Horticultural Nursery finding more tomato plants and Papaver Somniferum (really!) then waiting in the six foot spaced line to pay, with all the masks and surreality of our existence here still after a year where we’ve come to be able to navigate it I got a bit woozy thinking maybe I’d get the jab and be on the road to being in a better position to look at the pandemic. Saturday night I dove into the links my anti-vax friends have posted. I visited the Q sites I’d stayed away from after the weeks following Jan 6th attack on the Capitol where I’d just post troll FBI links to unnerve them, but who knows, maybe some of the MAGA mob have been rounded up due to a random post someone read. I was there to get important research on the mRNA vax (my appointment called for a second visit so I knew I was going to get one fo the mRNA shots).

I got a reminder notice Saturday for my appointment when I got home. I proudly displayed it to Ms Bird as a maybe this is going to happen to Ms Bird and she agreed. We discussed vaccine envy and FOMO. She’s too young and healthy right now to qualify because she’s really cool.

The anti-vax online phenomenon is a rabbit hole of so much fake science, modern luddite hysteria, grifters finding a voice to make money and gain notoriety, and downright manipulation meant to keep Americans sick and divided, that it’s amusing but also really, really sad. All the pro-insurrection, Stop the Steal idiots who were Constitutional Law Scholars just a few months ago are now Epidemiologists. Couple that with a group of horrified, uneducated, resentful people prone to violence fantasies who either were born without empathy or who had it beaten out of them in a self procreating cycle of authoritarian abuse and you’ve got a movement. They can’t imagine doctors and scientists would be able to use technology create a vaccine using mRNA just to help people not die. That’s doesn’t compute for them. There has to be something nefarious. It’s similar to the anti-maskers who don’t understand why medical professionals wear masks so they don’t catch whatever their patients may be afflicted with. These same people would have been protesting vaccines when they first were developed… or steam engines when we’ve always used horses or humans to do the same work and they worked just fine!

Needless to say spending the night before you are vaccinated with a brand new technology and reading all the nightmare fiction spewed about it is unhealthy. I don’t suggest anyone do that.

This morning I made a nice breakfast at home. I took a shower. One thing that’s changed in my life over the last year is that I take showers later in the day, after I’ve had to go to the store or whatever, to wash any COVID off my hide and hair. In the BeforeTimes I’d never leave the house without taking a shower. It’s a whole new thing. The mask somehow makes no shower feel right. I look forward to going back to not having to COVID shower.

I made some coffee, sat down to drink it and read a bunch of actual medical articles about the vaccine. This one’s pretty good. https://www.vox.com/.../coronavirus-vaccine-covid-19...

Then I was off, two hours early “in case of traffic” and got to SF in like 15 minutes. I parked down by where I used to work at Harrison and 2nd. It was too easy to find a space. I walked past all the empty shops, the places I used to get coffee or a sandwich or a slice at lunch, now gone. I passed the garage with a piece of paper that read “Temporarily Closed”. The paper was weathered and barely still hanging on the door. I passed all the people walking, masked and having acclimated to this “new normal”, masks now in all varieties with kids in strollers wearing masks. I noticed how now people coming up in front of you will move as far away as they can without being in the street to provide six feet of space between us. A few restaurants had people outside behind layers of plastic.

Once up at Moscone the sidewalk was pretty sparse with people except the volunteers and others working wearing all manner of vests with different initials and insignia. Do you have an Appointment? yes, ok go to #3. I went to #3 and told the girls I was really early and they said that’s ok, can we see your ID so I showed it to them and they told me to go inside. Then I was in a stanchions and blue strap course to entry and the woman at the entry podium asked me to stop, then she asked me to step back onto the blue dot on the floor that read “Stay 6 Feet Apart” which I did. She told me she was taking my temperature, and over her was a white camera looking thing so I actually thought, hmm did I get hot walking over here wearing the mask? But I looked up at it and smiled, like it was a camera and she said, ok you’re good. I was at least 6 feet away and 7 feet in the air. That’s some thermometer.

She told me to go to the kiosk D on the end and I walked right up. The guy behind the plexiglass greeted me, asked how I was feeling and I said I’m great, you? he nodded then he asked for my id. I’d also old school printed out my QR Code and held that out so he could scan it. He thanked me for being so efficient and told me to go to the escalators down to the main floor. As I walked away I thought to myself, yes, I am being very efficient aren’t I? This whole thing is very efficient so far. As I rode down the escalator I realize how perfect Moscone was for a socially distance COVID Vaccination site. There’s a ton of space in there when there aren’t 20 thousand people partying at a conference. At the bottom of the escalator was a full sized stand up of Dr Fauci next to a basketball sized COVID Virus. Charming.

I was then ushered into another stanchion and strapped disney ride navigation route with blue and green stay six feet apart circles on the floor that I walked through behind others pretty quickly then was directed by a guy there who held a green ping pong paddle in his left hand that pointed me to the green floor dots to the waiting seating section D. As I passed he pointed the dude behind me to the blue floor dot passage using his right hand holding a blue ping paddle. They looked like ping pong paddles. They’re probably something people who do that kind of stuff know all about.

Once I found section D with white plastic chairs spaced more than 6 feet apart, I was told to choose a row and sit down, which I did and I thought ok, this will be the wait. My appointment was at 1:45 and it was only 1:10. Everyone was staring at their phones waiting for direction. Volunteers were talking to each other. I knew no one in there had a fever. Everyone was wearing at least one mask.

Then within a few minutes one of the volunteers said ok your row needs to go over there, behind the maze and walk in, which we did and we stood on our green 6 feet dots with most people staring at their phones, but I noticed some nervousness. This was the last stop before the jab. Ahead of us were stations with enough enclosure to be private, with signs that read no photos of this area, and you could see where you would sit and get the jab. Some double masked dude a few dots ahead was nervously bouncing on his feet. A guy and girl at the front of the line were kind of dancing in place like they were ready to take the stage. The volunteer at the front of this line was telling us how great it was that we were getting the vaccine today and how much they appreciated it. He also had a green ping pong paddle in his left hand.

It was my turn right away. Like it’s time to get on the ride, the rollercoaster just went through disembark and now we all get to get on. There was that last, should I run, is this really happening moment but as I crossed into the no photo zone a girl holding a green ping pong paddle motioned for me to sit down at cubicle D-11 which I did. I haven’t sat within 2 feet of anyone but the Bird in a year and there I was with Denka who asked for my id and she asked if I had any questions. I asked what shot I was getting and she said Pfizer. I asked if that was a good one and she said they’re all good, but that she’d gotten the same one and I think she said she worked for Pfizer so she said she’d think it was very good. I lifted up my left sleeve and she saw my tattoo and asked where i wanted the shot, asking, “I see the bird, and the snake and this?” I said, “That’s a heart” and she replied, yes I see that, so she then said ok take a breath and she jabbed me in the heart. She gave me my card and said keep that for your next shot and I thanked her and moved over to the 15 minute waiting area on another white plastic chair with others who were just vaccinated and pulled out my phone to tell Bird and my family I’d gotten it.

While I was sitting there a grey pigeon with the rainbow feathers on its back flew down from the rafters high above and landed on the slick cement floor about 12 feet from me (two chairs length). It slipped when it landed but regained its composure and just kind of walked around for about ten seconds then flew off again. They give you a sticker with the end of the 15 minutes time you wait and there’s a huge digital clock at the front of the waiting area where you can gauge your progress. I was watching the seconds pass on the clock with red numerals against a dark background above a blue screen with white letters that posted next step vaccine advice cycling through all the languages, watching people around me on their phones or just staring ahead, when one of the people working the event walked over and asked how I was doing. We got into a conversation about how people will feel better going to the doctor once they’re vaccinated which made my waiting time disappear and my sticker matched the time clock and she told me to have a good day and where to go to get out.

As I walked out I passed by two volunteers at the “You Did Great” and congratulations signs with Madonna’s “Holiday” playing who were dancing and telling the few of us how great it was that we got the vax and that they’ll see us in 21 days! It felt a lot like how airlines will try to lighten the mood when your flight is delayed and we’re all stuck there in the terminal with crying kids and people wondering how they’re going to catch connecting flights, but the attendants are keeping it all positive because shit happens. Then I walked to the escalators past Fauci and his giant COVID where people were taking selfies, up the escalator, watching the uninitiated nervous on their way down to the jab.

And as I was ascending on that escalator, having been fortunate enough to have taken the vaccine and feeling more relief that in two weeks my immune system will have built anti-bodies without having to have suffered from a COVID-19 infection, that I most likely won’t be that host intubated on my belly, fed by tubes and tranquilized until I survive or die from it, and after that having to use oxygen at home with possible long term side effects and I considered how any of the anti-vaxxer, Great Reset conspiracists I encounter on social media would have interpreted my last 45 minutes.

Every step to getting this done was fraught with the unknown, with agencies and organizations, and scientists. Would our anti-vaxxer friends get past the thermometer? Would the efficiency of the process surface horrors and fever dreams of the diabolical? Would the messaging of encouragement trigger demons swirling around in the reality they live? Would they feel compelled to gnaw their arms off after receiving the shot? Would the pigeon be an angel with a warning? Would they see demons in the line out listening to “Holiday”?

I don’t want to think that’s where they’d go, but I’ve observed the dark places where they congregate. I don’t know how we help them or if we can.

My mother and dad got the shot a month ago. My brother and his wife and others in my sister in law’s family also got it. I talked to my mom after getting vaccinated today. She told me they all went to visit my brother and were out in the yard and everyone there was vaccinated fully. It was the first time she’d been somewhere in a year where no one wore a mask. Then one of the family who hadn’t been vaccinated yet showed up and they all put on their masks to hang out. She laughed and told me how weird it was but maybe they could catch enough of it from the unvaccinated person to spread it to someone else and no one wants that. Empathy…

If you want to be vaccinated, you will be, with no charge. It is coming soon to those of us who want it. That’s how these things are supposed to work. We voted and as a nation fixed what was broken regarding something we over in the left took for granted, the health of our people should be a priority. Keep trying to get an appointment. You’ll get one.

What a fucking bizarre last year this has been.. Here’s to a better one ahead.

John

Tom Van de Sande
Dont drink all
Tequila before i arrive!😉

Lyn Alcantara
Can’t wait till I can sit outside in th a t fun space with you and Jen😊

Nelda Barchers
Love you John. I went into a store too. And the check out was where it felt stressful. The wait the slowness. And if it’s any condolence I ate the coffee beans the day bird and I went to a shop. D s he didn’t tell me we hat to do

Isabel Samaras
Can’t wait to hang with you guys again ❤️

Jim Mosbaugh
We should meet in NO soon.

Glenda Solis
a great verbal snapshot of your life……

Lainie Monsef
Definitely Roaring 20s ahead!